Sunday, November 20, 2011

Come As You Are

On Friday's plane trip to Philadelphia, I sat next to a young Harvard bio/chem student who was on her way to a graduate fellowship interview for a summer position in England. She was one of 13 finalists and 2 people were to be selected. She was very nervous and was reading up on current events to help prepare. She said she started reading up on current events three weeks ago and not focusing on her regular studies because in the interview process she may be questioned about her views on cultural and political issues, and that she really didn't know what was going on in the world. I heard the phrase from the song "Come as you are" by Nirvana in my head and acknowledged the message. But I asked myself, "should I say something to this young woman? Should I discreetly give her the message that I felt like I was receiving for her? How do I say, "I think you should just be yourself and let that person shine through"
Thing is, I could totally relate to her and understand how she might be feeling from my own experiences in life. But I didn't say it.

Often times I have realized that when we are receiving messages from Spirit there is a residual benefit that may be hidden or not so clear to us in the moment, but help us in our own healing. The significance of my meeting with the Harvard student did not come to me until this evening after I did this drawing.

I started by drawing what was in front of me, a view from my couch. The "D" is from a red bin for "Daddy's art supplies" and the "O" was for my daughter's bin. The "M" bin for "Mommy's art supplies" was obscured from my view. However, I soon got into an energy drawing and decided to just go with it. At the same time, I must admit, I had the tv on and was watching the very end of "The Good Wife". Case in point..a judge was telling Alicia, a lawyer, "sometimes you have to have the person you may view as a scapegoat take responsibility for their actions" While the judge was speaking of a case, the not-so-subtle message was also being given to the lawyer who was also having a moment of reflection on how it pertained to her personal life..(I can't believe I am talking about tv in this way..) So thank you, tv, for reminding me that sometimes we do not realize that when we speak about one person we may be inadvertantly helping someone else, and that person may also be ourselves..

To drive it all home, when I told my husband my frustration at doing these energy drawings sometimes and not completely understanding them, he told me to keep doing it. That by doing it I will learn more and get more out of it. No being mouse-y, mouse-y. And that's when it hit me. He was also telling me to continue doing what I was doing, to be myself, and let it come through. Yup. He was telling me the same thing I was feeling for the Harvard student. I was the Harvard student.

Yes, Spirit can give us messages, actually multiple messages until we "get it". I have been given multiple opportunities since coming to Massachusetts to "speak up" so to speak, and I have to say that being truly authentic in who you are can be scary as all get out. But scapegoating, or talking myself out of what feels true for me doesn't seem to be a feel-good option for me anymore. At least now I can recognize when this happens and receive the benefit from the interaction and the opportunity for growth that it gave me.

I have a clearer idea now on the significance of this energy drawing. And I was nervous and tentative about posting it, being afraid that somehow this would be exposing me in some way that was uncomfortable. But after writing this and reflecting on my experiences, I think the message here is a good one. Come as you are. Even when you are scared. Speak your truth. DO.

1 comment:

  1. I love who you are Carla!! Always come as you are!! You are amazing and beautiful!!