Free to Draw-Draw to Free

Today I went to an art exhibit by Rhoda Rosenberg called "Matrilineal Threads" at the Danforth Art Museum in Framingham, MA. I went to this artist's lecture at Montserrat College of Art here in Beverly last week and wanted to see this show before it ended in a few days. I thought for sure I would write about her work; I found it very inspiring and very resonant with the work that I am doing involving spirals and belly bowls. But when it was time tonight to think about adding something to my blog, I quickly decided I would draw a picture of myself..since I was contemplating what motherly ties I would leave to my daughter and what my current relationship is with my own mother.

While thinking about threads, I noticed a line of stray hair that started at my forehead and moved down across my eye with shadows that went all the way down to my jaw. I have not drawn a self portrait in a very long time and it felt good to draw realistically..so good, in fact..that I started drawing automatically on top of it. At first I was thinking "shucks, I wanted to just have a drawing of my face" but I decided not to be attached to what I was doing and go with the flow.

Once again I spoke with my husband afterwards and told him I did this drawing but wasn't exactly sure what to make of it..I asked him if he ever draws automatically and if he ever felt the same way..What he said stuck in my mind. He said something along the lines of "I don't have enough free time to draw and when I draw I don't feel free".

After he said that, I felt gratitude. I felt positive. Because I remembered when it was hard for me to just sit and draw too. (Actually, it still is, but in a different way) It took me a while to loosen up enough to just start something and see where it goes. When I went to my studio before my daughter was born, I made it a practice to spend the first 20 minutes scribbling whatever came to me, just to get my arm moving and into a flow. Now (and maybe this is because I have less time on my hands, which is what my husband was referring to since we have both become parents) the practice of "just doing it" has become easier and easier. For the most part, I do feel free to draw and I look at the drawings as a way to free myself without always knowing what I am freeing myself of or with.

I trust that eventually the threads of my work will come together while I experience my own matrilineal journey. Thank you Rhoda Rosenberg for the inspiration from your family threads.

Laundry Luvin'

This morning, while getting ready to go out for the day, I found a ginormous load of laundry on our bed..my husband must have dumped it before heading off to work. My first thought; what a beautiful mountain of color..boy would I love to draw this. So then "ding" a bell goes off in my head and I call my 4 1/2 year old into the bedroom. We turn up the radio, grab our sketchbooks, and draw the laundry for 15 minutes..and viola'! Fun, dancing, and laundry..that still hasn't been put away since the last time I checked...

New Moon Blogging

I woke up this morning tired and irritable. My son was up three times during the night before 6 am. When I finished nursing him between 3 and 4 am, I went into the kitchen to get a drink. Something made me go to the window briefly and look for the moon..but all I saw were stars (they were beautiful, though.) Thought nothing of it until I finally was able to join the world this morning groggy and cranky..to find out from my friend's facebook post that it was a New Moon. I have been wanting to learn more about the moon lately, so the last time I was with my daughter at the library we got out a book about the moon. We looked at it, but still didn't get the info I was looking for..I wanted to know what the difference was between a full moon and a new moon.

What I learned after some internet searching today is that during a new moon, the side of the moon that is lit by the sun faces away from the Earth. What we see is the dark side..so the moon is still there, we just don't see it from our position on Earth. That helped me to understand why I wasn't able to see it. When I looked up even more, I found that it is a good time to set out some new intentions..to trust in the dark and give form to your dreams. So there you go. A bit of info I could draw upon, as I did this piece of art. I kept in mind what my new moon intentions might be, and while I was drawing, many notions popped up.

For a long time now I have been wanting to return to this blog after I did the art every day challenge in November. Realistically I know I may not be able to post every day from here on in, BUT I am making a commitment to stick to drawing things out as a way to stay connected to
the stars, the sun, the moon, the earth and to all life has to offer... By paying close attention to what I am drawn to I have been blessed with many messages from which to learn and grow.

So thank you New Moon for giving me the opportunity to start a new phase of this blog. May I continue to learn about nature and my own nature through art and connect with others, sharing my offerings of belly bowls, energy portraits, meditative drawing classes and all of the dreams that have yet to come to fruition.

suspended birdies

sweet little bird

where does your heart cry?

to the east or the west?

two heads

opposing

each side

shall you remain suspended?

still for the many passer-bys?

leaving them to

wonder

wonder

wonder

which

way you will

fly?

can you take to the air?

and still be one?

can you soar seamlessly?

without becoming undone?

Tonight I had little time, but wanted to get my hands in some clay. I grabbed a little bit and played with it in my hand..first it was an angel, then a pregnant woman, then a bird..

I didn't like how the bird's tail was coming along, so I ripped it off..and I found that what I had was a two-headed bird in my hands. It was a curiosity to me, and got me to thinking. I finished it off, deciding to turn it into an ornament, so I put the ball on the top with a hole to pull a string through it. I wasn't too sure if I scored the little ball well enough. I wondered if it would come apart later. When I went to go take a picture of my odd little bird, I saw on my itouch that I had taken these pictures of birds up above my head a few days before while walking to the holiday parade in downtown Beverly.

Then this little poem came to me as I thought about my hanging ornament and those suspended birds up so high..

hello darkness

I did this quick sketch of my daughter's hello kitty on the couch in the almost dark..the only light in the room was from some christmas lights around a window. I wondered what it would be like to draw with less light, how I might be surprised by the marks I made since I wasn't able to really see them, how what I would see would change due to less detail, etc. etc. A fun little experiment..gave me an idea to use for a class, whenever I go back to teaching meditative drawing..

Accept and Transform

I woke up this morning to the most beautiful sunrise. So I grabbed my camera a took a few shots. Then, while nursing my son, I was flipping through AEDM blogs on my itouch and happened upon wishstudio, run by Mindy Tsonas. Under her events listings I noticed she was having an open house today with an open art activity so I told my family, "we are taking a trip to Newburyport!" It was such a beautiful day here in New England, and Newburyport is a lovely place. We spent the day collaging and chatting..it was great fun. While getting to know Mindy and the broader world of online creative offerings (the ones she hosts all sound so cool..please, check out her events) I made the postcard above. Thank you Mindy, for your amazing offerings and inspiration!

What you See is What you (Do or Do Not) Get

I sat down to do a sketch of my daughter's dolls in her small rocking chair, but instead I started doing these energy drawings. This is what happens to me quite often. Automatically. I allow myself to continue, watching the marks form their way across the page. Then when the energy is released and I know I am done, I try to "see" what I have drawn. Tonight this phrase came to my mind; "What you see is what you get". Quite literal, huh? But the thing is, I don't get it so many times; I know I have to trust. When I thought about the not getting it, and wrote it in the title, (Do or Do Not) I was reminded of Yoda. Yoda said, "Do or do not; there is no try". So I will continue to "do", at the same time I "do not" and forget about the frustration that comes about when I think of trying to figure it all out. After all, this blog is called Drawing it Out, not Trying to Draw it Out. My husband works for an organization who's motto is: No mistakes. Just art. So there you have it; the art that came through me. I know, I trust it was no mistake.